Ten Days of Silence

After completing the our 200 hour Immersion and Teacher Training in April, Focus Yoga student (and the friendly face you see at the front desk most mornings!) Jess Smiley treated herself to something special, and unusual: a ten day silent retreat at the Vippassana Center of Illinois – just outside of Rockford, IL.  Yep, no talking for ten days. Now that she can speak again, what is she saying about this experience?

FY:  When you and I first chatted about this experience, you mentioned that the center wanted to help create the experience of the "monk" for "householders". Can you explain that?

Jess: Traditionally, monks and nuns had the ability to meditate because they had no other responsibilities. The center wanted to give householders (that is, those that have a family, job etc.) the same opportunity to live as a monk or nun for 10 days.  In order to be able to freely renounce all worldly things for the full 10 days, there is no charge for anything at the center. When we pay for things, the ego gets involved. We can dislike the food, accommodations etc. because we are paying for it. They called it "taking up the beggar’s bowl". If it is freely given to us, we are grateful and the ego can rest aside. We have no daily responsibilities. Our only work is to meditate and take rest.

What was a typical day's schedule like?

We woke to a gong at 4am, and meditated from 4:30 – 6:30am. Breakfast was served at 6:30 and we could rest until 8. Then back to the meditation hall for a group meditation from 8:00 – 9:00am (those were hard because we committed to one position and were asked to not move at all for the group sittings). 9:00 – 11:00am was meditation with instructions – we were usually allowed to meditate in our own room if we wanted. 11:00 – 1:00pm was time for LUNCH and REST! Best part of my day!! This was our big meal, plus time we could take to walk or sit outside by the pond or in the sun. 1:00 -3:00pm was Group Sitting, no moving. 3:00 – 5:00 meditation with instructions, again we were offered to meditate in our own room or in the center, our choice.  5:00 – 6:00pm, Tea and rest. 6:00 – 7:00pm, Group Sitting, no moving. 7:00 -8:00pm, evening DVD discourse (this was a teaching given by S.N. Goenka, the teacher responsible for starting Vipassana Meditation Centers).

Why weren't you supposed to talk between meditations?

Silence was mainly for protection both for yourself and others. As we meditate, deep issues arise and in talking we can sometimes unleash our stuff onto others. The other reason was that we took 5 precepts at the start of the meditation. One was to not tell lies. We often exaggerate or leave something out when we talk so not speaking spares us from even accidentally speaking something false.

Did you really not talk for 10 days? What was it like to go so long without being able to exercise those vocal muscles?

Every other day the assistant teacher would check in with you to see if you had any questions about the technique. We could speak to her if needed.  I spoke once, on day 3 :) We could also talk to the student manager if we needed anything ie toothpaste, soap etc.

Did not talking make your meditation easier?

Oh yes! Not speaking was the easiest part about being there.  It made the transition from our rest periods into meditation time seamless.

How did not talking affect your mind, both during and after the practice?

At first I noticed just how chatty my mind really is! I felt like I traded talking for thinking. As I learned to still my mind for these long periods of time, I found it easier to engage in the meditation technique. By not talking, the transition was quicker. I stayed inside my own body the entire time. By the end of the week, I was moving in meditation. Every step, every action was thoughtful and I was aware of everything I did and felt.

Was there a special meditation you were to practice?

Yes, we practiced a technique called Vipassana. It begins with anapana meditation (breath awareness) leading into total observation of the body’s sensations, disciplining ourselves to refrain from identifying with the sensation, pleasant or unpleasant…it didn’t matter. We practiced a lot of equanimity.

How did it feel to talk again after 10 days? Did you want to stay silent, or was it like uncorking a dam?

They use the 10th day as a “shock absorption” day and for good reason. It’s really weird to start talking. We’ve just gone through some of the deepest mind “surgery” and it’s hard to jump right back into daily conversation. Gratefully, everyone around you has just had the same experience, so it made talking a little easier. When I got home, I just wanted to be quiet.

What are the biggest differences you've noticed in your mind or practice since having this experience?

I have more control over my mind. I’m definitely a lot quieter in my thoughts. I have equanimity towards the sensations I feel during my practice and meditation and realize that every sensation pleasant, or not so pleasant is temporary and I am able to endure it all. I’m also getting better at letting go of craving the “good” sensations and averting the “bad” ones. I’m much better at seeing things AS THEY ARE, not HOW I WISH THEM TO BE which keeps me planted right here in the present moment. I find it much easier to be truly still and I notice the wisdom that rises within that stillness. I found this technique to be so powerful, practical, and attainable that I will continue to practice it as well as teach it to anyone who wishes to learn!